Sweet Dreams

Beyoncé put out this new album called "Sasha Fierce" right, so I don't care and I'm just living my life. But this morning there's some link on a myspace homepage or something and I decide I'm going to give it a listen. Now, as a disclaimer, I hate pop and most r&b but for some reason Beyoncé's voice has always been captivating. Well her album is a two disk thing where the first disk has all of her "ballad" type songs and the second has like "dance" songs. The song "Sweet Dreams" caught my attention. 'Tis pretty cool. I know its weird and like "Beyoncé? really?" but yes really.

On another topic, Thanksgiving went pretty well in my opinion. Chilled out, ate, played Fable with Phil, and hung out with Ryan, Amanda and Ben at night. Today is gonna be weird though because I have a feeling Dorian might want to hang out, and I'm planning on going to see Quantum of Solace with dad and Phil in the afternoon. I hope things work out...

I Am Moved

These three people are the most amazing and talented people I will ever meet in person. Spring Awakening is the most amazing musical by far. I've never been hit so hard by something like this. Anything like this. I'm glad to say I got to see the original cast perform their hearts out on Broadway before they went their separate ways. I think if you listen to the passion in "The Bitch of Living" and "I Don't Do Sadness" and "You're Fucked", it will bring you will to tears just like it did me.

You Are Nothing New

Every day I look for some fuckin' perspective. I try to see where the rest of the world is coming from so I can learn something. I try to put my thoughts against history. I try and try and try and all I've come up with is that I am no good.

All the things that anybody has come up with in my life, including myself as well as, and especially, those that think they're doing something unique, is repetition. Show me something original and I'll show you Jesus himself. Not a single fucking thing is different than something that's come before it. That's the perspective. There's the truth. In the words of Alfred Bester,

"In the endless universe there is nothing new, nothing different. What may appear exceptional to the minute mind of man may be inevitable to the infinite Eye of God. This strange second in a life, that unusual event, those remarkable coincidences of environment, opportunity, and encounter… all may be reproduced over and over on the planet of a sun whose galaxy revolves once in two hundred million years and has revolved nine times already.

There are and have been worlds and cultures without end, each nursing the proud illusion that it is unique in space and time. There have been men without number suffering from the same megalomania; men who imagined themselves unique, irreplaceable, irreproducible. There will be more… more plus infinity."

I Should Stop

I have an issue with judging people and elevating myself above others by putting a greater than symbol next to me. I live with the ability to make my self seem better than others and I hate my inability to stop. I think to myself, "at least i'm not that mopy", or "I would never demean myself enough to listen to that shit", or "how come you become so petty and I stay mature?". I'm ridiculous.

I should get punched like 5 (9) times.

Which reminds me! "SO DANGERESQUE!!!"

Anyway... I gotta go attempt my AP cal homework. Meh.

I really

I should not be updating right now because i'm pretty bogged down with homework and whatnot but for some reason i'm going to tell you that i'm excited about music again, i love fable, i can't wait for mirror's edge to come out, and i really like shrimp!!

A Poem In Progress (FEEDBACK PLZ)

I understand there is a problem
a hindrance beyond your eyes
I cannot hear your voice, it echoes
it's more than what my fear implies

These words, they dance along the walls now
before they finally come to me
you found a darker kind of dreaming
and I don't have the heart to see

There was a time I could remember
but that was so long ago
the past is nothing but a shadow
and I am nothing but its ghost

Victory!

I have finished the handmaid's tale, and it was amazing!! but the ending made me throw the book across the room. Also, today is a day of voting and so it's proper for me to say that i put my vote to Obama. Although if eddie vedder or trent reznor were on the ballot we'd have a different story. :) Anywho, the horns on my second character in fable dos look BA. On the topic of music, IF YOU WANT TO PLAY AT ANYTIME, WHOEVER YOU MAY BE, I NEED TO CREATE SOME GOOD MUSIC OR I'LL EXPLODE. My new computer rocks the shit, but i really need to get a graphics card so CSS won't be such a lagfest.

At This Point...

I am completely jealous of Elliott and his NIN concert goings. I've had a sex change in Fable and am now a man. W007. Anywho, I'm hoping to finish The Handmaid's Tale soon enough. 'Tis a sad story. I still haven't finished The Vampire Lestat... BLARGH!